Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
