...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My pussy is not your playground.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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