at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
