Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
