i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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