i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
