i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
