i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
soo... how was my night?
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