i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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