You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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