You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
