After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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