oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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