I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
