My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
