To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
