I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
