I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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