he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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