butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
