I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
