He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
