sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
