We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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