The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
