He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
