Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She has the best kind of daddy issues
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
