Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
