i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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