..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
