in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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