Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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