i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My vagina is very pro this idea
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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