I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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