Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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