I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
