You're completely useless in the revolution.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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