You can't motorboat a personality
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
