you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
