sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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