a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
