I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
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