i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
