drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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