I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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