I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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