Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
thus making me awesome and them whores
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
