i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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