i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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