Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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