Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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