Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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